When You Are A Calming Influence in the Storm…

Not-Selfish-2
Life has been a trial lately. There have been sharp right turns off of the map into uncharted territory. There have been urgent matters, a loss, and emergencies in the lives of my greatest loves, my people, my humans. Crisis has sort of splashed itself all over this very young year. And it’s all very personal in a way that I couldn’t anticipate.

With these events, I realize that there are no accidents in life. Everything is meant to be as it is. And for some of my greatest loves in life, I have been able to use my professional skills and training to assist them in their times of need. I am grateful that I am able to help. I realize that I am the calm in the storm at times, or I am at least well-equipped to steer the boat into calmer waters. It’s a role that I am committed to playing, but I have to help myself with the same level of commitment.

BECAUSE THERE IS AN ABSOLUTE ENDLESS SUPPLY OF GOOD HAPPENING RIGHT NOW TOO!!!! AND I NEED TO SHOW UP FOR THAT EVERY DAY!!!

Admittedly, I have crumbled, I have fallen apart a few times. I have been anxious and fatigued for months. I have overreacted to challenging stimuli. I have been a bit lost. I have literally fallen on my ass with legs flying out from underneath me. (Thank goodness for yoga or I would have broken my ass!)  Life will keep throwing things at you until you face the music. At least, that’s how it goes for me. Life can get really noisy and loud. And I need to turn the volume down. And I need to face the music. For me, it’s answering this question…What actions do I need to take to feel better?

To this end, I realize that I need to be writing. I realize that I have been resistant to writing because I have been afraid to let all off this emotion out. I’ve been trying to keep it all under wraps, and those wraps are failing. So I will be writing about it.

photo-broken-cup-iv.pngSo dear readers, I look to you to keep me accountable once again. Because my self-care cup has a crack, it’s leaking, and it barely gets filled. Time to change this. Time to commit to taking care of me in the same way that I will always take care of my greatest loves, my people, my humans, my community. Because I deserve the same level of care. And I’m the best person for the job. I can do this. I know how to do this. I must do this.

Stay tuned for an action plan. And if you too have a cracked, leaking cup…Let’s join forces so we can fill our cups with nourishing, delicious self-care together. Reach out to me!

As always dear readers, I wish you a bright and beautiful day. Much love, many hugs. Namaste. ❤



Gentle Reminder to Self

Dear Self,

Just a gentle reminder – You have very good days when you step onto your mat and practice yoga first thing in the morning. You should practice every day. It’s like good day insurance.

Be Well. You deserve it.

Love Marissa

P.S. Holding the tiniest of blessings in your arms also brings immense joy. Do that often too. 💙


It’s Been a Hot Minute…

2017…The year ended scraping and scratching it’s way out the door. Somehow, I got that door closed, locked, and barricaded. I am grateful for all of the good that 2017 brought me. And I will be grateful for all of the challenges that 2017 presented, but I am still recovering. Honestly. I am still recovering. It’s all good though. Onward and upward.

2018 is gonna be a good year. I’ve been on this learning curve. I’ve been learning about myself, learning how to be a Mom, learning how to be a better wife, friend, family member. And I’ve been learning how to integrate my passion for all things health, healing, wellness, and cannabis into a functional career. It’s been a whirlwind. And I honestly didn’t feel like writing about it until now. So here I am…writing about it. If you’ve missed me, just know that I will be back to blogging on the regular. Because I have a lot to tell you.

For now, I just wanted to say hello. And that I’ve missed you. And I hope that this New Year has invigorated you, lifted your spirits, helped you dust off from anything that might have knocked you down last year or beyond. My goal this year is to be present. To be here now. To not get lost in anxiety land, or to get thrown back into the past where depression lingers. It’s a goal that I need to achieve to live my best life. So you’ll see me planning, goal-setting, and creating strategies for success here.

As always dear readers, I hope your days are bright and beautiful and full of warmth. Seriously. It’s absolutely frigid here in my home state! Anyway – Much love, many hugs. Namaste. ❤


Happy Anniversary My Gorgeous Man

It’s been a couple decades since I first laid eyes on the man who I am fortunate enough to love deeply, to call my husband, to raise our sweet little girl together, and to simply do this life with. I remember seeing Mark in the halls of our high school and thinking that he was very handsome in his Alice in Chains sweatshirt. We had several mutual friends and we seemed to hover in the same social circles, but we never actually spoke until a friend invited myself and Mark over to hang out one summer evening. And after that evening, I had a serious crush that I couldn’t ignore. So I did what any modern woman would do…I pestered our mutual friend for Mark’s phone number and called Mark to tell him how I felt about him. We dated for a short time that summer, but it was not our time to be together and we went our separate ways.

 

As fate would have it, we reconnected in 2004. Mark was living in California, I was living in Florida. We were literally a country apart, but found ourselves phone buddies who spoke at least once a week. For me, all of the old feelings I had about Mark started to trickle back in. In 2005, we both traveled home to visit our families for Christmas. And we fell head over heels in love. And that was it. We’ve been a couple for 12 years. Married for 8. Best friends for life.

We’ve packed in a lot in our time together. A transcontinental move back east, another big move from the deep south to our hometown six months later. We completed our college degrees thanks to the support of our incredible families. We entered a local wedding contest and won. (If you voted for us, thank you!) We adopted our tuxedo kitty Wylie. We moved forward in our careers, Mark in real estate and me in my nursing/wellness career. We bought our beautiful little home on a big, slate rock hill in our hometown. We raised a flock of chickens. We adopted our James Dean kitty Henry who has since moved on from this world. (He really was like James Dean – handsome, young, lived on the edge, died way too early.) And we became parents to the most beautiful little baby girl in the world in the winter of 2015. And those are just the big events.

To say that I cherish my gorgeous man is a gross understatement. Mark is my hero, my confidante, my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime, my rock, my Person. We live a very good life together and we are both committed to making our dreams come true. Some dreams already have come true, and some will – it’s just a matter of time. It’s not always easy, this whole marriage/life thing, but when we peel away the challenges, distractions, and hard-learned lessons, it’s really one of our greatest accomplishments.

My dear husband Mark – You have captivated me for over 20 years. I knew you were special when we were teenagers. And I was right! You’ve become such an amazing man and I am so proud to call you mine. Thank you for doing this life with me. Thank you for being my Person. Thank you for being the most amazing Daddy to our incredible little girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Here’s to many, many more years of marital bliss! I love you with every fiber of my being. I always have and I always will. Happy Anniversary My Big One Lah Husband!!! ❤