I enjoyed a very good night of sleep and headed to the couch to meditate this morning. Once again, thoughts of my encounter with my primary care physician (PCP) and the office that she hangs her shingle on repeatedly bubbled up into my quiet space. You can read about my initial experience with my PCP here. Again, I gave these thoughts a bubble to hang out in and explained that I’ll be giving them some of my attention later, during the writing of this blog post. They accepted this answer and floated off until now.
I was told last week after having an appointment with my PCP, which was followed up with having my blood drawn, that my lab results would be available early in the week. So yesterday (Thursday) I had not heard from my PCP office. No phone call, no email, nothing. I then called and requested my lab results over the phone. The person I connected with took my name, date of birth, and I could hear her typing away on her computer. Then this person (probably a front office person, or maybe a medical assistant working the phone) said “Everything came back normal.”
I confirmed and said “normal?”
She responded, “Yes, normal. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”
My response, “Can you tell me the numbers and the ranges for the results?”
She cleared her throat and responded, “You would have to speak with Dr. PCP. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”
I wanted to tell her that I demanded to speak with the PCP, but I’m a nurse. I know better. That’s not gonna happen. I don’t know any physicians who just pick up the phone on demand! Nope, can’t think of one. And yeah, I get it…You’re busy. But guess what, so is everyone else. Perhaps I’ve worked with too many physicians and I’m a little jaded? (No offense if you are a physician, but communication between you and mostly everyone else could generally improve. Just a suggestion!)
Last week, my PCP spent a few minutes with me, assessed my hair for bald spots, and failed to assess anything else. I left with an auto-immune disorder diagnosis (Alopecia Areata) and a mental illness diagnosis (Depressive Disorder.) So the fact that my lab results came back “normal,” and my PCP failed to contact me to discuss the actual results (you know, the ones with numbers and ranges?!?!) wasn’t a huge surprise. My thoughts float now to my patients who are really struggling with disability and illness. How is anyone supposed to feel helped, and supported, and actually get better under these pretenses that have just become the norm in “health care?” Gah. So sad and frustrating.
Onward and upward. My plan of action now that my entire encounter with PCP is over (like a bad relationship) is to write an email stating that I vehemently disagree with her diagnosis. And that I do not appreciate how I’ve been treated as a patient (bare minimum bullshit treatment.) And I’ll request my medical records, including the ACTUAL lab results. And then I’ll move on. That’s all I have for now. More on this later as I decide which practitioners I need to work with to improve my health. Ideally, I’d love to work closely with a DO (Doctor of Osteopathy) and an ND (Naturopathic Doctor.) But decidedly, PCP is out.
And now I’m out. Gotta get Little Miss Toddler Girl up and ready for school. This Mama is heading to her third aerial yoga class this week (I’m kind of hooked!) and then off to get myself organized for next week. Because next week – I will start offering Cannabis Nurse Consultations to the Cannamommy.org tribe. And I am so stoked! Yes, I used the word “stoked.” I really am stoked!!! Like a beautiful camp fire that just received a new piece of wood to blaze up! All the puns intended!
As always dear readers – Much love! Thank you for keeping me accountable as I heal from depression, one day at a time. Namaste ❤
My Mental House – Plans & Goals for Healing from Depression
Goal — To Gain Clarity
Plan — Meditate for at least 10 minutes daily, eventually expanding on the amount of time a couple minutes per day, with 20 minutes of daily meditation being the target sit time.
More Plans — Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Lights out by 10pm and wake up at 7am would be a good starting point for me.
Goal — To Reduce and Prevent Insomnia
Plan – No electronic devices before meditation/yoga practice in the morning. No electronic devices for at least one hour before bedtime. DEFINITELY NEED TO IMPLEMENT THIS PLAN!!! I’ll be in bed by 9pm tonight.
Plan – Read more books instead of staring at electronic devices, especially at night READ BOOKS, NOT ELECTRONICS!!!
Goal — To Relieve Depressed Mood, Anxiety Symptoms, and Relieve Pain
Plan — Move!!!! Yoga, Swim, Walk – DO ONE OF THESE ACTIVITIES DAILY
Yoga — Attend at least 2 classes a week, practice most days of the week for a minimum of 15 minutes a day. Practice in the morning after waking. May precede meditation.
Swim — 10–20 laps
Walk — Just get out and walk.
More Plans — Medicate with cannabis as needed.
- 1-3 inhales from a vaporizer with a CBD-rich strain first thing in the morning if panic/anxiety/pain not relieved by self care bodywork is on board
- 2–3 inhales from a vaporizer with an indica-dominant strain by 7:30pm to reduce tension and promote sleep. I feel a cannabis holiday on the horizon. Perhaps for 3 days, perhaps for longer. CBD products ordered!!!
Goal — To Nourish My Body To Heal Up From Depression, Anxiety, and Panic
28 Days of Clean Eating inspired meals – Gotta pull a recipe for tonight’s supper